Sunday, October 21, 2012

Little Fighter ~ So Strong & Brave

Below I will share a few photos from my little ones most recent journey. I am not sharing because I want sympathy, that is the last thing I am looking for. 
I normally do not post or talk to much about my personal life and keep it as such.. personal. It is still a very sensitive subject for me to talk about my youngest daughter and her health battles but I have come to realize, that the little bits I do share not only helps others but is somewhat therapeutic for me. Beneath all the bad that life throws our way, there are still many reasons to smile and to be thankful for what we have been given even when the given may not be ideal or makes sense. No matter what.... Never Give Up and always, Love Your Life for it truly is a gift and very precious. Think twice the next time the thought of FML (eff my life) enters your head because you lost your cell phone, your broke a nail, did not get those new jeans you wanted, it's raining out or the dog chewed your shoe etc.. are those really a reasons to hate life?! If I had a dog, I would gladly give him my entire shoe closet, if that meant by daughter would be fine and not have  endured what she has thus far and what she has to in the future just to stay healthy. Life is what you make it, if you go through your day thinking it sucks, chances are it will and continue to suck until you change the way you look at it. Embrace it... good and bad.. I promise you, life will be so much better.. it may not always be easy but better it will be. LIFE IS GOOD.. SIMPLE AS THAT !

Lots of big hugs and kisses and I love you's and she is off, the strongest and bravest little being I have ever met and I have the extreme honor of being her mom. Behind those doors awaits a bright red Corvette Convertible (power wheels), she jumps in and drives herself to the OR. There are no tears shed... we feed from each others love, strength and trust, knowing that we will soon be hugging each other again. ..........the hours of waiting and pacing begin.

I finally got to hug and kiss her... I was a nervous wreck this time... 1.5-2 hours had past beyond the time I was told she would be out of the OR. I was so happy to finally see the surgeon walk through the door and heat the words, "she is fine"..... what a relief.
The surgery was successful but did not come without complications that have come to be expected. The skin on the "bad" side of her head is thin and disintegrates. The best way to describe it would be to put toilet paper in water and try to pick it up, that is what the skin it like. Yes, it not only makes closing incisions from surgery difficult but even get dressed on a daily basis ... if a shirt rubs to much on her head, it tears and bleeds and is very tender to a simple touch.

As always, she stole the hearts of all medical staff. She never once complained about pain other than her foot was sore. She stuck up her foot to every nurse that walked in and told them it was sore. They were amazed, she just had her head cut open and has not complained about any pain from the surgery other than a tender foot which had nothing at all to do with the days events. She smiled and greeted everyone that came to the room and talked away, she would even thank them for giving her medication and taking care of her. Nurses not even caring for her, came from all different wings just to say hi... I was told that she was not the average 2 year old and everyone had to see for their own eyes just how amazing she was. They all wanted her as a their patient and although happy when she was able to go home, they did not want to see her go.

Only hours after surgery and she was ready to conquer the day. It will take more than having her head cut open, skin grafts, anesthetic, morphine and a "helmet" to ruin her spirit and take away her smile. I am blessed with this smile on a daily basis - still dopy from the drugs and a face so swollen her eyes barely open, she smiles. It is contagious... we love smiles, smiles are good for the soul and something a simple as a smile can easily make or break your day.

This was one of her more challenging surgeries - procedure and recovery. She has never once complained about pain, the only thing she has struggled with it the itch from everything under the bandage healing and from not being able to take the bandage off to wash her hair, heat etc.  When we were finally leaving the hospital she looks at me, points to the bandage on her head and says, "Mom, do I really have to take this thing with me." ha ha.

She really pulled at my heart strings about 5 days after surgery, the itching was getting bad. She says, "mom, can you help me." Off course, I will also do anything in my power to help my children. She went on to say, "Can you please take this thing off my head". Well my heart shattered, something as easy as taking off a bandage yet I couldn't. I tried to explain to her that I was helping her by making sure she kept the bandage on and I was doing it to keep her healthy. We talked back and forth for a bit and she was ok. She hugged and thanked me and told me she loved me so much.

I stay pretty close to her to make sure she does not try to put her fingers under the bandage... I really do not want to have to restrict the use of her arms and put braces on them. She has tried on a few occasions... I cannot imagine.. if it was me, I think I would have ripped that off my head.

She will have the bandage on for several weeks. We go back to the hospital next week for a dressing change, she is really looking forward to having that off her head, even if it is for a few minutes and I am curious as to what it all looks like as well. I will then continue to do the dressing changes at home until she no longer has to have her head bandaged.

Her journey is far from over but she is so strong and I will continue to be by her side every step of the way. She has about 2.5 to 3 years left of surgeries just on her wee head.

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers and kind messages... they really do mean so much and warm my heart. You all continue to bring my faith back in humanity... not everyone is heartless, selfish and bad. Genuine kind people still exist and I am so blessed to have some of the kindest people in my life. Sadly there are still heartless, negative downers.... to those people... you will not even get a reply from me. Life is way to precious to give you the time of day and I pray that you get the help you need because you really are missing out on so much by being so down and negative..... bucket dippers never get to far in life !

My concentration over the next few weeks will continue to be on my daughter and her recovery however I will be working on orders now that we are home. I will try to reply to all messages that I have received over the last week within 48-72 hours. If you have not heard from me, please send me a quick message at or use the contact tab NOT the message feature. The message feature on facebook is not reliable.... messages seem to appear and disappear if I get them at all.

Have a wonderful day and as always.. Make It Count !


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