My Hair Does Not Defy Me .........

On June 4 my brave and strong girl headed to the OR yet again for another cranial surgery...her 12th surgery.... this would be the biggest surgery to date.

I should warn you now... I am not a writer and not always the greatest with finding the right words to use - never a strong suit of mine. But I will try... bare with me... ha ha

As a parent, you know how difficult it is to see your child sick or in any kind of pain AND your wish as a parent is to want to take their place. If it was possible, I would take her place in an instant - but I can't, it is not possible and it eats at me all the time. I will admit at times I feel like a failure as a parent because I am not able to take away all her pain, I cannot always make her feel better and I cannot prevent the surgeries. I am always thinking of ways and doing things to make a little difference in her life, to make things easier, to make her feel like she is not alone, to ease her pain etc. So this time, we planned a little something together... it was our secret... no one else knew.... not even my husband (her dad).
I felt strongly that I needed this documented to add to the "Londyn's Journey" book and at this point I was still without either one of my cameras and this deserved more than a few cell phone images (which I do not do in the first place) So I needed some help, sheesh, I had to ask for help.... never an easy task for me BUT this was for my daughter... I had no problems stepping out of my comfort zone. So the first person that came to mind to help/support me was the amazing kind and caring, loveable Jenn of Jenn Lambert Photography. She is one of the kindest most compassionate people with the biggest heart, the kind of person I needed with me during this very emotional and difficult day. I knew that she would do this out of love and genuine care and support - without any hesitation she said she would be there.

Once Londyn and I shared kisses and see you later hugs - she drove herself to the operating room in a shiny red corvette power wheels - I set off on my mission and went to meet Jenn whom was waiting for me downstairs.

 My amazing girl in the corvette... she LOVES to drive herself to the OR in this car... she skips through the doors and says, "I have the need for speed" It is the sweetest thing coming from her gentle wee voice.

We headed upstairs to the salon in the hospital for my appointment..... it was time.... with my daughter close to my heart and the best support by my side, I sat in the chair - I was as calm and collected as I could be - thinking of Londyn's infectious smile, I was ready to loose my hair. I felt it was the least I could do to support my daughter whom would be loosing her head of beautiful platinum blonde hair. The one and only thing that truly bothers her about the surgery.

Londyn supported the idea... I had to check with her first because last year when I wanted to do this, it upset her - she did not want me to look like her - she thought she looked ugly (talk about shatter my heart) She will also be the most beautiful soul with or without her hair.

So with her support and approval, once I was able to see her in recovery, hold her in my arms and smother her with hugs and kisses -  we would look at each other for the first time together in the mirror as "bald beauties". Just talking about it, we were so excited and looking forward to embracing life as two bald girls on a mission to show people that our hair does not defy who we are !

Now, I DID NOT do this for attention, to be looked at as hero or mother of the year. I did it solely for my daughter... a simple gesture, a loving act from a mother to her daughter to help make her feel better, lift her spirits because she would not be the only bald girl. I so wish I could have done more, I always wish there was more I could do but this time, that is all I could do and I had the hair to do it.

So without any further delay... below are a couple of the images Jenn captured.......

Moi, in the chair - smiling because this is what Londyn would want me to be doing. I was so ready. The stylist even asked me if I was sure... absolutely, without a doubt, I was more than sure and ready - this was for my daughter and I would do anything in the world for her - for all of my children. Let's get r' done -  it is only hair.

 

Still smiling, it is coming off.... it felt good. My heart was singing and FULL of love. Had Londyn been there, I know she would have been cheering me on, dancing and smiling and telling me I look beautiful.

Striking a pose.. it is gone. I love it - my heart is full. Struggling with holding the emotions in and keeping it together... I am smiling for my Londyn and the thought of getting to hold her, hear her sweet voice and see her beautiful smile is keeping me strong.

Miss Jenn and I captured by the stylist. Gosh I love this gal...... my cheer leader for an hour - a friend always and a supporter I can count on, no matter what.... because of her I have hope for humanity. I will treasure this moment always and be forever grateful. xo

BTW - The ear to ear smile on Londyns face and sparkle in her eyes when she saw we were the same, is something I will never ever forget. She temporarily forgot about the pain and the events of just having surgery... if it means that I can make her comfortable and smile and forget about her discomforts, even if temporary by shaving my head, then I will do it over and over and over again ! 

Thank you to all the prayer warriors out there whom are always thinking of, praying for and sending sweet messages and offerings to my princess. I wish there was something more I could do than always saying Thank You, to really show you all how very much this means to me, means to her, means to my family... I will never ever forget your love and kindness.

Stayed tuned for Part 2..........My Life as a "Different" Person ! I decided to make another post due to the fact that now I am bald (to many people I am now different, I do not look normal) and in such a short time I have not always been treated like a person.... my heart is so sad, that people can be so cruel and are not accepting of all people because they are not what society deems normal or perfect. 

As always, have a blessed day and no matter what you find yourself doing... Make It Count !!

Much love always,
Stacey

 

Lunar Eclipse - THE BLOOD MOON - April 15, 2014

It was quite the experience to witness the blood moon phenomenon.

Nature photography is just not something I had dabbled in before... especially the moon. It can be tricky... it really does move fast.

But of course, I had to get out my camera as I sat on my deck in the frigid cold, sipping my hot chocolate and staring into the sky marveling at the natural beauty before me.

I am very pleased with the images I captured - for a very first attempt, yes I will give myself a pat on the back for these.

Whether you took some of your own images and saw the moon yourself - I hope you enjoy these. And for those of you whom missed the opportunity - well I certainly hope you enjoy them too.

Have a blessed day ~

March 3, 2014 Surgery Update

I thought I would make a post on an update for Londyn..... I opened up my e-mail and bam........ 148 messages of well wishes and prayers for my sweet angel. I will get around to replying to each and everyone however it will take some time... so this post is the next best thing for now.

Surgery went well and was a success. Thus far she is doing good with no complications. She is still smiling, laughing and joking around but her pain seems to be high - although she will never complain about being uncomfortable, so we are watching for cues to tell us how she is feeling and trying to maintain pain management.

The staff, once again are amazing and just love Londyn - doctors, nurses, residents and other wonderful people/staff and medical professionals that were not even part of her medical team this time around, recognized her name and as usual, just had to come and say hi and wish her well. Warms our hearts that she is so well loved and cared for.

The admitting nurse got a kick out of her and asked her if she knew what was going on (they like to make sure that the child is aware of what is going to happen)... Londyn puts her hand on her hip, tilts her head,  gave a little eye roll and replied, "Oh yah, a whole lot of craziness" The nurse could hardly contain herself and told her that was the best answer she has ever heard and could not disagree with her... ha ha

Londyn is just tickled and so happy that so many people sent her well wishes, prayers, sweet e-cards and pictures and the flowers, treats, toys, a fairy statue and even a canvas painting - WoW - you are all amazing !

she says, " THANK YOU SWEET FRIENDS - I LOVE YOU AND AM DOING GOOD AND JUST WANT TO SLEEP IN MY OWN BED"

From the bottom of my very grateful heart... THANK YOU ALL so very much for your continued support and prayers for my sweet little girl.

Have a blessed week and whatever you find yourself doing - Make It Count !

Much love,
Stacey xo

PRODUCT REVIEWS

I have reviewed hundreds of products over the last several years and will continue to do so, however some changes will be made.

Some of those changes will be as follows:

1. ALL reviews will now be published either on my blog or website (which is near completion) YAY !
2. I will be switching blogs and offering advertising for other vendors as well. 

Things that will remain the same:

1. I WILL NOT review or photograph any items/products that are similar to mine.
2. In some cases, I make the professional decision to keep my reviews exclusive to certain brands and/or companies AND in some cases it is required from the company - I respect this and will continue to do so. For those of you whom have voiced some concerns and/or upset regarding this policy - I am sorry... this is not going to change and I really hope that you respect this. I am not trying to be mean or spiteful nor are the companies I work with.
3. All products sent to me for reviews and/or to be photographed become my property unless previous arrangements have been made.
4.  I will not pay to do reviews BUT I will continue to review products that I purchase for personal use/business etc. 

ALL changes will be in full effect no later than June 2014.

If you are interested in me reviewing and/or photography your products or both, please feel free to contact me at prairietots@gmail.com.

I look forward to all the fun new changes and working with you to promote your products and/or brand.

Have a blessed day ~
Stacey

Late Night Share - My Job NOT a Hobby !

Thank you so much to all of my clients. All of which have been so amazing. Thank you for trusting me to create beautiful things for your babies, children, grand-children, clients etc. Thank you for being so understanding, and patient. It's hard to be the only one trying to run a business. 

 I don't have the luxury of having an assistant or other employees. I don't get sick days, vacation, and very rarely do I actually abide by my "business hours." I'm the designer/creator/manufacturer, the editor, the accountant and the marketing guru, the purchaser, shipper and receiver and the list goes on and on -  all while being a mom and wife. I know I get behind, and I know I forget things. I try my very best to stay on top of things, but I am only human. I make mistakes. I have horrible organization skills, yet somehow remember where I put everything! I'm not sure I will ever catch up on laundry, and there always seems to be at least a few dishes in my sink and toys lying around! My job never ends, in either career. I enjoy every moment of it though. So again, thank you! You's are all awesome!

I can't wait to meet all of my future clients and as always look forward to working with my many faithful and repeat clients as well. I love what I do, and feel blessed to be able to do what I love. Prairie Tots is My Full Time Job (working 14+ hours a day - I work more than if I was to work outside the home) -  this is NOT a hobby, NOT something I do because I see that there is a market for hats and props where I can make a little extra spending money to by the newest Coach purse or luxury item for myself. This job pays my bills, helps feed and clothes my kids and affords me the luxury to stay at home and care for my kids and attend to my 4 year olds medical needs/constant doctors appointments and her surgeries - without PTB, non of this would be possible. 

So thank you all so very much for your support and continued patronage - your business means the world to myself and my family and the friendships I have made along the way will be treasured always. 

 Life really is amazing isn't it?!?!?

 Have a blessed day ~ 

Facebook Page - TEMPORARY CLOSURE

After alot of thought, going back and forth and not sure what to do........ I have decided to temporarily de-activate my facebook page sometime in September. I am going to try to aim to  re-open the page sometime in November.

I am busier than ever with orders, so you may be wondering why I would do this?? With my daughter's surgeries, hospital visits every other day, a new baby, my other children and life in general, things have been extra hectic. Maintaining my facebook page and responding to e-mails alone takes up a minimum of 4 hours per day. This is 4 hours less working on orders, 4 hours less with my kids and although I do not sleep much as it is, I do need sleep. I wish I could stay up 24/7 and split myself into 10 in order to get everything accomplished. Since I am booked solid for many weeks and having to turn away so many people (this makes me sad, I wish I had more than two hands) - it only made sense for the time being to shut the page down.

Thank you so much to all of my clients. All of which have been so amazing. Thank you for trusting me with making you some amazing creations for your children, grandchildren, friends, as gifts, photoprops etc. Thank you for being so understanding, and patient. It's hard to be the only one trying to run a business. I don't have the luxury of having employees.  I do not have an assistant who answers my emails and phone calls.  I don't get sick days, vacation, and very rarely do I actually abide by my "business hours." I'm the designer, creator,  the accountant, marketing, shipper, receiver, purchaser etc etc, (I think you get the point, I do it all)  and all the while being a mom and wife. I know I get behind and forget things from time to time. I try my very best to stay on top of things, but I am only human and I am not afraid to admit I do make mistakes. There are times my organizational skills are less than stellar, yet somehow I remember where I put everything! I'm not sure I will ever catch up on laundry, dusting, tiding up and there always seems to be at least a few dishes in my sink and my house astray! My job never ends, in either career. But I enjoy every moment of it.

So again, thank you! You are all amazingly wonderful! I also look forward to working with all my faithful clients and the many new ones to come. I love what I do, and feel blessed to be able to do what I love, contribute to the house financial and most importantly stay home with my fabulous children and to be able to enjoy every little moment in their lives. Life really is amazing isn't it?! I certainly think so.

While I am away, I will still answer e-mails however, this will be sporadic - I will try to be online at least once a week. If you do not hear from me within a week, please send me a reminder - I may not have received your initial e-mail, I am not ignoring you and do not think of the reminders as harassment.

If you have an existing order, no fear - I will work on it and it will be shipped or ready for pick up as discussed. If there will be any delays, I will be sure to send you an e-mail to the address I have on file. During surgeries and while in recovery, I will not be online at all until my daughter is home and well.

I look forward to talking to you all again soon ~ until then, take care and as always, no matter what you may find yourself doing - Make It Count !!

Much love,

Stacey

iPad for Londyn

Words cannot even begin to express how grateful we are to each and everyone of you that made getting Londyn a new iPad to help keep her comfortable at the hospital during her multiple weekly treatments and during her hospitals stays after surgery.

I am still overwhelmed and speechless that so many of you came together for my little girl and in 1.5 hours exceeded our $500 goal and contributed a grand total of $565.. WOW...... AMAZING !!

It took everything in me to suck up my pride and ask for help. I have never been one to ask for anything and have always done everything on my own - asking for help always seemed to me as if I would come across as weak, or less of a mom/person or a beggar. It is still a struggle and to those of you whom sent such kind and uplifting messages - thank you ! You made this "weak" mom feel so much better.

Anyways.. I presented Londyn with her iPad today... oh my.... she was floored and over the moon ecstatic. I will forever have the imprint of her reaction and wee voice in my head. This would not have been possible without your big hearts and generosity. I will forever be grateful.

With the money raised I bought her the follow:

1. Of course the iPad - white, 4th generation
2. A pink stylus
3. A purple military great cover (the one shown in the picture is pink and we returned it as it was only the front cover and it was soft) - they did not have a pink but her second favorite color is purple.
4. A zagg invisible shield for the screen

The grand total: $562.75

With the $2.25 left over, I bought her a strawberry snapple and skittles !! The money was for her and every last penny was spent on her.

She loved when I read the card with all her angels names in it.

I asked her, "if you could see all your angels in person, what would you say or do"?

She replied, "I would say, Thank You forever" and give them hugs. I have the best angels. (I cannot argue with that, she certainly does have the best angels)

Below are some of the pictures as well as a picture of the card !

The message on the card reads:

Everything that happens in life is a gift. Even as you struggle through this difficult time, you are gaining strength and wisdom that will help you further down the road...Remember, no matter what happens, you'll always have people who care for you.

I added:

Miss Londyn, enjoy your new iPad sweet girl

Lots of love:
Your Angel Friends xo  (each and everyone of your names is listed)

So sorry for the blurry picture, I grabbed my camera quickly and was trembling so bad. No amount of vibration reduction could handle my trembling. But you can still see the look on her face... she could not have a bigger smile. For me, my iPad, my iPad, is this really mine... hooray, she says.

Giving her iPad a hug !

 

Instantly turning it on........

Wasting no time, already playing with it !

Again, from the bottom of my heart... THANK YOU !! THANK YOU !! I feel like a broken record but I have no idea what else to say. I have never been great at finding the words to truly express what I am thinking and feeling and sometimes there just aren't enough words in the English language to do so... this would be one of those times. My heart is so full !

Much love to you now and always,

Stacey